Embracing Vulnerability: Breaking Free from Emotional Barriers and Overcoming Self-Sabotage
Introduction
You ever have one of those moments where you realize you’ve been carrying a weight you didn’t even know was there? Like, you’re going through life—showing up, holding it down—but deep inside, something feels... off. That’s what I felt years ago when I was sitting across from my therapist, tears rolling down my face as I realized, I didn't even know how to say what was wrong with me, much less communicate what I needed. It hit me—my walls were sky-high, and my ego had built them brick by brick.
That’s the thing about the EGO—it’s not just an enemy. It’s also a protector, a storyteller, and sometimes, a straight-up liar. In this post, we’re going to unpack how the EGO shapes our healing journeys and how embracing vulnerability can help us finally feel whole.
The EGO: Protector or Prison?
The EGO isn’t here to ruin your life—it’s actually here to save it. At least, that’s how it starts. Think about it. Maybe you learned early on that showing emotion made you "too sensitive" or "too dramatic." So your EGO stepped in like a bodyguard, keeping those feelings locked up tight.
I’ll never forget working with a client—let’s call her Tasha—who had perfected the art of looking unbothered. She’d smile at every meeting, take care of everyone else’s needs, and never let them see her sweat. But inside? She was exhausted. Her EGO—the Guardian—had convinced her that falling apart wasn’t an option. Through our work, we slowly chipped away at that armor. Tasha started by admitting, "I’m tired," and eventually, she got brave enough to say, "I need help." That shift? It changed everything.
Tasha’s story isn’t unique. Many of us wear masks—whether it’s the strong Black woman trope, the perfectionist, or the caretaker. But the cost of those masks? Disconnection from ourselves and the people who truly care about us.
Vulnerability as a Path to Wholeness
Brené Brown wasn’t lying when she said vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. But let’s be real—it’s terrifying. Especially for Black women who’ve been taught we have to be strong all the time. Vulnerability can feel like a setup for judgment or rejection. But the truth? It’s the very thing that frees us.
Here’s what worked for Tasha—and might work for you too:
Write it Out - Start by journaling what you’re scared to admit out loud. Even if it’s messy, let it out.
Lean on Safe Spaces - Healing happens in community. Find people who let you be messy and still love you.
Talk Back to Your EGO - When the fear voice pops up, ask, "What’s it trying to protect me from?" Then remind yourself—you’re safe now.
Your EGO Needs a New Role
It’s not about firing your EGO—it’s about retraining it. Instead of letting it drive your decisions, let it take a back seat and observe. Your EGO doesn’t have to disappear; it just needs to learn how to work with you, not against you.
Try this exercise: The next time you feel resistance, ask yourself, Is this my EGO talking? Then get curious. Write down what the EGO is saying, and follow up with a compassionate response, like, I know you’re scared, but we’re safe now.
If you need to get a better sense of your EGO persona, then take the EGO Quiz to see where you land and some exercises that may also help you shift.
Conclusion
The EGO isn’t your enemy. It’s just a part of you that’s been working overtime to keep you safe. But safety isn’t the same as freedom. And freedom? That’s what we’re after. Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s bravery. So, what would happen if you let your guard down just a little? If you let yourself be seen? I think you’d find that healing—real, deep healing—is waiting right there.
If this post resonated with you and you’re ready to start breaking free from old patterns, I’d love for you to join my class, How To Stop Self Sabotage. Together, we’ll go deeper into these concepts, unpack the stories you’ve been carrying, and build tools for lasting transformation.
Click here to learn more and save your spot!
Relevant Links and Citations:
Brené Brown, Daring Greatly - Brené Brown's Website
Reflecting Joy Collective - Reflecting Joy
